... Mouth open (finger pointing in the air), my voice is nonexistent. The words cannot be found. Speechless, but my eyes are full of emotion. My vocal cords tighten up ready to be used, but nothing is heard. I lower my raised hand, slide both hands into my pants pockets, and slowly turn and walk away with my head down.
This is a daily struggle for me, for I am a person who stutters (PWS). As a PWS I demonstrate certain traits, which include:
- Blocking – closed airways in the throat, larynx, etc. leads to inability to produce air and sound
- Repetitions – repeating sounds or syllables. ("D-d-dog")
- Prolongations – unnatural or involuntary lengthening of sounds. ("Mmmmother")
- Avoidance behavior – avoiding situations, words, or people
- Word substitution – substituting an easier word to say for a harder word (My biggest trait)
- Physical tics – tapping feet, clapping hands, head jerking, arm swinging
- Motor tics – grunting, grasping, panting, and other breathing irregularities.
However, the cause of my stuttering I do not quite understand. They could be caused by a psychological issue, neurological issue, or behavioral/learned trait. I tend to disagree with the third cause; my parents & siblings do not stutter, so I could not have learned to stutter. However, I do agree with the first two. I probable do have some deep, emotional conflict locked away in my unconscious mind, or I do have some inherited abnormalities in the brain or nervous system.
Only time will tell…..
